Saturday, July 10, 2010
"In the Beginning"
So I am new to blogging. It's something that I have always thought of doing and today after reading several blogs, namely- the diary of a kenyan campus girl. I decided it's never too late or too early to start in my case. So to introduce myself, I want to remain somewhat anonymous so I will go by mercy. To explain the name of my blog- "stolen from Africa, brought to America": I took it from the lyrics of Bob Marley's Buffalo soldier. This lyric I feel applies to me in that, my family and I migrated to the U.S. when I was 9 years old and at that age I had no say so whatsoever in the decision. At the time I regretted it and continued to do so even after we moved here-mainly due to the fact that we landed in a barren icy land in the middle of nowhere-carbondale, IL.however, I have come to appreciate the decision over the years. Anyway that's too long a story to get into. So for my first post-"in the beginning"- song title by k'naan whose music i follow-, i will talk about me as a person. I would say that I am not a normal person-but who is- and not very open-hearted person, maybe somewhat self-centered person-again who isn't. So to self-analyze myself and to give you insight to maybe why I am the way I am. At 9 years old my best friend in the whole wide world, my other half, my soul mate... and I were separated. I was 9 and she was 10-i will refer to her as rose , and so she understood what was happening. I thought America is just right over there- as a kamba would say-nio va, I will still see her. But NO! I never saw her until 3 years later and only for 3 days. I talked to her on the phone from time to time but that was rare due to- time difference and school. So basically, the one person I loved most in the world and still love was ripped out of my world-and this is what i would call heartbreak. as a 9 year old, I think I took the heartbreak well-crying myself to sleep every night,hating my mother for bringing me to this wretched place-the norm. Anyway so from that experience I learned don't love and you won't get hurt. so in relationships even with my friends today- I practice apathy where no matter what they do- I am not hurt because I am numb and also becoz the only friendship i honestly value is with my family and rose who i talk to once every blue moon. so that explains my closed heart- per say. so I will get more into this story and more into me next time/week "in the beginning part 2-NO WOMAN, NO CRY.