"Real Situation"

So, I've been distracted from completing my school work this past week. Wonder why? Of course it's Martin. So to end this misery and torture wondering when is he going to ask me out, does he really like me?etc. I have decided to talk to him tomorrow and I wrote down what I want to say. I know "real situations" don't usually happen as planned but this is sort of how I plan for it to happen. Hey M. Can I talk to you. I hate to be the romance killer but I kind of have to confront something because that's just who I am. When I spend/waste my time thinking about a guy romantically for more than 5 hrs not one day of course. And the signs of flirting and all that are there. And the guy still hasn't made a move yet, I like to come to a fight or flight point. And basically what I am saying is, we have been flirting for more than a week now and Nothing has happened yet. You haven't asked for my number or out on a date or anything and so this is critical point where you say if you want to go into that direction or stop what's happening here. It's my last day to work here and If I don't do cross country I'll probably never see you again. So if you can at least explain to me what's going on here and tell me what your intentions are. Then my whole dilemma on whether to continue thinking about you or move on would be solved. So that is what I plan to tell him tomorrow and honestly what happens after I tell him is up to him. My hope is that obviously we continue to hang out and talking maybe even go into couple mode. But honestly I won't totally be disappointed if that doesn't happen because well it would actually be very difficult and demanding to have a boy friend and do my school at the same time. I would probably get better results without him distracting me but others have done it and so can I. Plus, I have made a pact to myself that school comes first if it comes down to it, then I will drop him. Honestly, what I am wondering is how will I sleep tonight thinking about this? But I am glad that soon this restlessness will be all over. So of course next post is about the decision he made and how I took it.

"Send me that love" part 1

So this week has been a crazy week due to my mad volunteering that is required for me to get a diploma. I have been volunteering at an art museum and like science exhibit place working with the children in their summer camps. So I never met any good loooking guys at either of them and i assumed it was because of the fact that all hot guys are lazy, vain, and wouldn't think of helping others. But I was wrong. There's this new guy-lets call him Martin- and well he might not be like a male runway model but he's nice looking. Just so you know, he's from Germany which means caucausian, white etc.- I guess i'll touch on this subject later. Well anyway, the first day he was there he was just looking at some art and I pointed to the one next to it and told him my friend did that-(the person whom i consider my best american friend is a beast artist). Anyway, the second day he was assigned to the same classroom at me and I didn't think much of him. But throughout the day he would like give me these looks-maybe flirty-not overly flirty since a room full of kids and a teacher isn't the best flirting setting. Anyway on that day I had commented that I am from Kenya and he didn't say anything which i thought was weird b/c when I tell people where i am from, i end up being bombarded with questions. So day #2-wednesday, some kid was drawing like the emblem of an american football team and the teacher commented that he wasn't that into football which led Martin to say me neither. This schocked me b/c at the time I assumed this is a white guy from the South and these Southern guys love their american football. And so suprised i said "really, why is that?", Martin- "I just didn't grow up with it", me-"oh, so where did u grow up?", Martin- "Germany", me-" wow thats cool, i didn't grow up with football either in kenya, i grew up with the other kind of football" which led to him stating that he wasn't really into either football and that he ran crosscrountry which I am going to do this year. So i guess we bonded on those similarities of being foreigners and runners, maybe more him than me. But that's normal for me since when it comes to guys, I am always the one who loves less. Anyway, I was supposed to leave early at 4:45 to go to crosscountry practice but I guess our conversation was going so well I decided to just be late. On our way out he asked me if I was working the next day and so I thought that was a big hint that he definitely liked me since if he didn't, why would he care. Today we ended up talking a lot more about our college plans, favorite subjects, our countries' weathers and seasons. His affinity for waking up early in the morning mine for sleeping in late. But overall I think our relations at this point has been characterized by this comfortable silence - b/c silence isn't necessarily a bad thing, to me it means u're comfortble enough wit a person that you don't have to say anything to each other to enjoy each other's presence- and a lot of SMILES at each other. But honestly as far as I am concerned he doesn't have the physical characteristics that i like-tall. Although, he does have these beautiful green ways that I just want to swim in. But character wise i think he might be what i am looking for-nice, caring, responsible etc.However, his humor is def. not on point, he may just be trying too hard at his own expense but at least he's trying. Tomorrow's friday, so the last day to volunteer this week and I am interested to see what happens, what I am wondering is- why doesn't he just ask for my #. But although on his 1st day he said he was only volunteering this week, he says he will be there next week-maybe his mind was changed by a special someone-idk? but anyway if he's going to set something up, he needs to hurry up and do it. on "send me that love" part 2 i will explain the title-its deeper than it seems and on the post after I will inform you on what happened.

"In the Beginning"

So I am new to blogging. It's something that I have always thought of doing and today after reading several blogs, namely- the diary of a kenyan campus girl. I decided it's never too late or too early to start in my case. So to introduce myself, I want to remain somewhat anonymous so I will go by mercy. To explain the name of my blog- "stolen from Africa, brought to America": I took it from the lyrics of Bob Marley's Buffalo soldier. This lyric I feel applies to me in that, my family and I migrated to the U.S. when I was 9 years old and at that age I had no say so whatsoever in the decision. At the time I regretted it and continued to do so even after we moved here-mainly due to the fact that we landed in a barren icy land in the middle of nowhere-carbondale, IL.however, I have come to appreciate the decision over the years. Anyway that's too long a story to get into. So for my first post-"in the beginning"- song title by k'naan whose music i follow-, i will talk about me as a person. I would say that I am not a normal person-but who is- and not very open-hearted person, maybe somewhat self-centered person-again who isn't. So to self-analyze myself and to give you insight to maybe why I am the way I am. At 9 years old my best friend in the whole wide world, my other half, my soul mate... and I were separated. I was 9 and she was 10-i will refer to her as rose , and so she understood what was happening. I thought America is just right over there- as a kamba would say-nio va, I will still see her. But NO! I never saw her until 3 years later and only for 3 days. I talked to her on the phone from time to time but that was rare due to- time difference and school. So basically, the one person I loved most in the world and still love was ripped out of my world-and this is what i would call heartbreak. as a 9 year old, I think I took the heartbreak well-crying myself to sleep every night,hating my mother for bringing me to this wretched place-the norm. Anyway so from that experience I learned don't love and you won't get hurt. so in relationships even with my friends today- I practice apathy where no matter what they do- I am not hurt because I am numb and also becoz the only friendship i honestly value is with my family and rose who i talk to once every blue moon. so that explains my closed heart- per say. so I will get more into this story and more into me next time/week "in the beginning part 2-NO WOMAN, NO CRY.