$$$ MONEY MONEY MONEY $$$

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY….money. How many things have you done purely for the love of money?  If you answer honestly, money probably rules the majority of our life choices-what you do, what you buy, what you invest in life, etc. We’re all in a relationship with money and most of us are in an abusive one. Simply stated, money is the pimp of life. It forces us to do things we don’t want to do-get up in the morning,  brush your teeth, and get ready for a job that you probably don’t like. But despite how abusive the relationship is, we always go back to it. Like the battered wife, we make excuses for money- ‘Oh but he buys me x,y, and z’ or ‘he takes care of the kids’- and hang on to the hope that the relationship will change one day. But deep down inside we know that money will never change. Money will always be money. 

If we want the relationship to be different, we must change.If we don’t want to be slaves, we must use money against itself  and buy our freedom from it-from the debt and more importantly from the dependence on a 9-5 job.  We have to learn to be like the greats,  the Russel Brand and the P. Diddy’s of the world, who learned how to pimp their money.  We must always have a plan- which some of us think of as a budget but the more ambitious think of as a business plan. If there’s anything my broke ass has learned from rich people is that they don’t like to spend their own money, they invest it. And we all know money is a great force to  be reckoned with so we’ll probably be more successful if we face it with a team. So how about that  squad you spend every weekend drinking with. Maybe it is time to stop digging an early grave with alcohol and start investing in a cemetery instead. Excuse my morbidity but its important that we acknowledge that how we spend our money can either kill us or make us a killing. May you have great success in the latter. 

And when y’all make it big out there, don’t forget to come back and tell us how you did it- preferably over a nice lunch at the Hilton on your bill.

 Love,

Ectsasy vs. True Love/ Crazy Stupid Love

The beauty of lifetime love: watch UP!

 I am not sure how many blog writers have ever used the tittle "crazy stupid love" but excuse me for my lack of originality because it's the only phrase that effectively describes the light bulb that just went off in my head. Maybe you read my last blog post but most likely you didn't. So to give you a short summary, a la (similar to) every romantic comedy/tragedy out there, I met a guy who was everything I ever wanted (funny, kind, charming, tall, warm) wrapped up in a layer everything I never wanted (smoker, alcoholic, pothead, a LEO(prideful)). And to give a brief course of events: when I met him, I ran away from the guy I was currently with and into his arms. But then when his second layer revealed itself, I ran even faster...before he could finish uttering the word "Baabbbbyyy". Everything was alright with that until I stopped running and wondered why I ran. Several drinks and lonely nights later,  I discovered that fear was the reason. Fear that I was getting too attached to someone I knew that I could and did not want a future with. And fear that perhaps I would delude myself into thinking that he was the love of my life because of the  supercaligragistilic feelings of pleasure that I'd never gotten from being with anyone else but him. 

  So for a love that was so short lived, I suffered months of great heartache thinking that I had let go of my only chance at true love (false) and had hurt him more than any other guy I've ever ran out on (true). But I think everything good or bad comes to an end and I realized that I had grieved long enough about the tragedy that had occurred. During the course of my grieving, I had reached out to my so called true love and apologized but it was a little too late since I had waited to do so until I was thousands of miles away, back in my home country. There was not going to be a lovers reunion or a "catch up" coffee date and I got tired of obsessing over his facebook wondering whether he had moved on (while stalking the flocks of women throwing themselves at him). And through this I realized, I had moved on and my guilt was over. Shit happens. Love and life is complicated. We don't always get it right but our mistakes are opportunities to learn from. 

What I've learned from this is that love is something we can actually control. You determine who you fall in love with and why. Never overlook the harsh negative qualities of the other person in the name of love because that will only lead you to heartbreak. Never jump into anything without knowing what you want from it (love, sex, money). And above all always be honest with yourself and your potential or current mate. Because sure you both might have shared feelings of ecstasy when you first met, kissed, and etc but eventually those feelings are not going to be enough anymore. You need trust, intimacy, support, and perseverance to make love work. And you not only have to find someone who exemplifies these qualities but also be someone who lives according to these standards. Passion should be the cherry on top not the foundation of a relationship unless you want to end up on Jerry Springer or therapy for the rest of your life. And I am not trying to sell you the idea of boring passionless love because I truly believe that if you have a good foundation, passion will blossom right out of it and that's the beauty of love. Watching that flame of passion grow through the years will be fulfilling and who knows it might grow so strong that it will eventually set the world on fire (how romantic: muahahaha). 

It's like that old saying that parents tell you about not playing with fire unless you want to get burned. Instead, of playing with fire...build it! Build it from a strong foundation of resilient firewood (loyalty, trust, intimacy) and it will last a lifetime.

P.S. I am only 20 and single...so heed my love advice with caution but like they say even a fool is right from time to time. 

Please let me know if this advice rings true from your experience with love.

-Much love,

Mercy!

Epiphany

So here it's 2:25 A.M. and it just dawned on me why I have abandoned, deserted etc. this blog. Well, I have always been a private person not only hiding things from others but most importantly hiding things from myself. This blog and all blogs remind me of journals where a person writes down their private thoughts, for some weird reason such as being an attention whore etc. So I realized this is my problem since the first time I had a diary. I would end up reading my journal entries for the previous year and antagonize myself wondering WTH had overcome me to write such stupidity and be preoccupied with such nonsense.

And this is the feeling I get when I look at this blog. It's almost a year since I started this thing and I feel haunted by these memories that have been made concrete on these virtual walls. Like I did to my past diary, I want to rip out these virtual pages and start over. Maybe to something that wiill distract me instead of cause me so much headache. So i've decided in my future post I will try to refrain from speaking about my personal issues and instead concentrate on what I set out to do: teach Kenyans in Kenya what American life is really about. So in the future expect to see blogs about the culture of fast cars, unhealthy food, race relations, traveling, dollars, Americanized Kenyans, and college life. I promise to post an obligatory blog in April when my college decisions are final. Until next time, cheerio!
 
-Mercy <3
Books I am in love with: In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez
Music I am in love with: Going in circles by Jasmine Sullivan