Sunday, August 15, 2010

"still searching"

I broke up, so lets celebrateImage by Unlisted Sightings via Flickr
So.... I am still searching although saying this at the age of 17 sounds so unfitting. but correction i am not searching for "mr.right" at this point in my life i am searching for "mr.right now" which means i want nothing serious. when i go off to college the fling with that person will probably end and i am perfectly fine with that.
so to recap on how i got ffrom "Martin" to still searching, i'll remind u that on the last post i said that we never kissed on the first date which was weird and maybe i sabotaged the date by saying "this is awkward" at the moment where he would have kissed me. so the next day he did not call me which was weird because he always texts or calls me everyday which i wouldn't mind if he didn't do so just for 1 day but this was the day after our first date so i felt like something was off.

so i decided to call him the next day if he didn't call and ask him what was up and if we needed to have the "talk". the next day i wake up at 12:00 to a message from Martin saying "want to hang out at the park later" and the next one saying "to talk". And explaining that i am supposed to do  school shopping that day and  i can give him an answer after i ask my dad what time we are going school shopping. so my dad says 3:00 so i eat a snack and ride my bike to the park. i find him filling his bottle with water. i avoid eye contact and we sit on a concrete bench across from the wooden swing bench we sat on out 1st hang-out outside of the museum.
we greet and he asks me how my 4,000 word paper is coming along. I say it's coming. blah blah blah. and then to cut to the chase because i know at this point he's not worth the time since he's ending this, i say "so what was this all for?" and he says "you know because of yesterday, i was thinking that we are just friends, i don't know how you feel but i thought it would be best to tell you in person instead of being a jerk and telling you on the phone" so i say "well that's respectable, that's good". i avoid answering the question because if he feels we are just friends after all that has happened then he's not worth it plus i knew this day would come because we had very few things in common so we always ended up talking about the same things.

so to change the subject, i say "so you are going to the stand up thing right?" and he says "yes" and i say "that's good, i don't think i could have come anyway". so the conversation moves on for like 10 minutes and i want to go home because he is not worth my time anymore. so i say "well i have alot of stuff to do to day, so i have to go". then we hug awkwardly and leave. i go home call my bestie and vent telling her that i will be from now on a serial dater nothing serious maybe even just a make-out partner. no strings atttached coz i am too busy right now to even indulge myself. i have met someone new though. since i am doing cross crountry, i met this white guy with dreadlocks who seems interested in me probably due to the fact that my twists look like dreads. and it's so much with this guy because i am playinhg "hard to get"-for two reasons #1 his ex still seems to be into him and i don't want that drama #2 people say he smokes weed and as much bad boys are attractive i can't deal with drugs.

so now i will list my reasons for thinking he is interested in me and u can either agree or disagree. #1 he keeps looking at me and complimented my dreads. #2 he takes every chance he gets to talk to me like alluding to my "VARSITY MATH" t-shirt i was wearing to practice by stating that he is bad at math which sounded like he was asking for private tutoring. #3 his friends who usually don't usually talk to me are now talking to me- and from experience i know this is a sign. so he wasn't at practice on Friday so we will c how this goes this week if he shows up for practice.

p.s. the title is a song by damian marley not Bob but is in the same should be ok.

Damian Marley still searching
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  1. Hope it went well. I wonder how it turned out. But if it's true he smokes weed, he's bad news and you should leave him alone. It's so easy to get influenced, I tell you.

  2. He couldn't run cross country anymore because he wants to graduate early, so i never saw him again and when i did see him, i came of sort of condescneding b/c that's kind of my defense against emotions that i have towards ppl i know i shouldn't have them for. if u get what i am basically no one i am interested in is in my life now but there are people who are interested in me.


Thanks for your input.